The COVID-19 Emotional Gong Show

Just Pressed Submit on the Lottery

Like many aspects of life, the running community has been flipped on its head.  This post is about my experience over the last six months...

It all started back on January 1st.  It was the morning of my 40th birthday and I jumped off the metaphorical cliff.  I put my name in the lottery for my first 100 mile race.  I would like to say that I forgot about it and was pleasantly surprised on lottery day.  Newsflash: I am not that cool.

For the next seven days, I daydreamed of race day and started to make mental adjustments to my year as 2020 would be full of serious training with no social life (little did I know the coming reality of this concept).  As lottery day approached I started to panic...I started to play the what if game.  What if I didn't get in?!? It was a horrifying thought.  On the evening before the lottery (next day at noon), I decided to make an action plan in the event that I did not get into this chosen race.  On a whim, I logged into Facebook and into the group for the event.  I asked if there was a viewing party or if we would just get emails. The following is what transpired in quick succession:

I had heard of people laughing and crying at the same time but this was my first experience of it.  Truly a strange feeling.  Tears were running down my face while I was manically laughing.  I was simultaneously out-of-body excited while being horrified at what I was about to do.  I could not fall asleep that night until late and could not stop smiling for days.  Multiple times that week I didn't believe it really happened.  I would reread the acceptance email, or go to the event on UltraSignUp and find my name on the runners list.  It was just so hard to believe it was real.

Leap Day 5k

January through early March, my coach had me working on strength training and working on my speed (I am a back-of-the-packer.  I think of myself as a member of the Sloth Running Club: I will get there when I get there.)  However, this is an event when the cutoff really matters and it is no fun being chased by cutoffs. I got into a pretty good routine with tempo runs on Tuesdays and speed intervals on Thursdays.  I would go to the gym after school and get them done on the treadmill.  I liked the treadmill for these because I could easily type in the speed I needed and watch the clock timer as I ran.  It challenged me.  I found that I really enjoy tempo runs the most.  They push me just outside my comfort zone and leave me feeling accomplished after the workout.  I PRed my adult 5k time at the Leap Day 5k and had fun with negative splits at the St. Patrick's Day 7.77k.

And then, COVID-19 happened.

At first it was no big deal.  Yeah sure the gyms closed but I have access to trails right outside my door.  After about three weeks, I learned two lessons.
1- Speed work outside is SOOOO hard. I quickly became demoralized.  I was so frustrated that I couldn't hit my goal speeds without the help of the treadmill.  I will not lie; there were angry tears on the trail.
2- My shins do NOT like cement.

Then April came along and all the big races started to get postponed.  While I felt deeply saddened for my fellow racers, my goal race is in late September so I was not worried for my 100 yet.  I started to support my favorite race companies by running their virtual events:

Shoes and Brews: We Run Together but Separate Half Marathon
Yeti Trail Runners: 24 Hour Challenge (5.2 Miles every 4 hours for 24 hours = 50k)
Aravaipa Running: Half Marathon
3W Races: Kind Mile, QuaRUNtine 5k, Spring PD Half Marathon
Mad Moose Events: 30k

These virtual events helped me stay the course.  It was a mental battle to keep doing strength and mobility work.  I mean, training for a 100 requires an incredible amount of time! Much of it is tedious and now that it is hot requires very early alarm clocks for those long runs.  I love sleeping late- why am I doing this?!?!?

In May the big races started to cancel including the Boston Marathon, the Boulder Bolder, the entire Leadville Race Series and Hardrock.  Now I started to worry- tight chest, pit in my stomach kind of worry. Not much is accomplished with worrying; so, I desperately tried not to worry.  Fact to revisit: I am not that cool.

The mental battle continued...why am I doing this if I may not have an event to celebrate the work?? Yes, I am a finish line girl.  I love the hoopla, the bling, the aide station volunteers and post run brews. I just LOVE IRL trail events.  They are an addiction.  Yeah Yeah Yeah, "It's not the destination that matters. It's the journey." (Insert eye roll here.)  I know that is how I am supposed to feel but I am just not that mature.  There. I said it.

June is giving me hope again.  First I started 3W Races' Colorado Trail Challenge.  I opted for the solo challenge.  I will run/walk/hike 486 miles over 90 days.  I track my mileage on the website and get to see my progress on the map.  Plus, we get awesome digital badges for each segment we complete and great swag when it is all done!  (Video Sign up HERE Use my code for 15% off: 2020Erica15 )

Then, Mad Moose Events got the go ahead for a real and in-person run in Utah.  The Bear Ears Ultra is next weekend.  Heat and climbing are my kryptonite and I will face both during this 55k.  I don't care! I am just so excited to get out there- even with the new restrictions.  I have always enjoyed Mad Moose Events.  They put on my very first ultra and it was an amazingly positive experience.  So, I am sure they will make it awesome as long as runners just go for fun and not take it too seriously.

Plus, here is the REALLY REALLY good June news:
The Yeti 100 just sent out the Runners Handbook!  Looks like it is going to happen!  I am so excited again! I mean, I know there is always the chance for a new surge in covid which could cause a new lock down... but I have hope again! For now, I have hope.

Next decision... do I go back to the newly reopened gym for my speed work?  My speed progress basically flat lined without it.  Do I risk it?  *sigh* I will keep y'all posted.